4th Mar. 2013

"Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst; every other species of tyranny is limited to the world we live in; but this attempts to stride beyond the grave, and seeks to pursue us into eternity."
 Ululations from a Cave
1. Obsolescence in perpetuum: bombarding the consciousness with inequitable absurdities to the point of numb acceptance.  An archaic verbal bludgeoning stratagem employing holy mumbo jumbo to invoke demons and induce mental dysmorphic disorders.....a memory erasing/conflict pre-requisite to unlock portals and facilitate ethnocentric implants.  From the first dose of indoctrination and through constant repetitive ritual, the battle to disseminate, discriminate, distinguish, is lost to dogged dogma. Unable to masticate even one chunk of implausibility, cult-gorged zombies are served up another, even more chewy than the last.  Stories so incredibly fantastic that no rationale can be applied to substantiate its reasoning other than pre-planned confluences of conditioning to effect subjugation.  Stretchered to a dimension where guru-says-god-says believe it or damnation, the wilder the story the more acceptable its divinity.  Without equivalence or precedence, 'god came in a dream' fiction was produced like flatulence from camels in a field of horseradish.  After a happy-hookah night, while haunched over a hole in a hovel, connivance gushed, and with each contraction of the bowel.  To vindicate self appointment as god's scribes; to expand slave markets; to purge their own human failings and bring recognition to an otherwise useless existence, those narcissists, tossed in heavy helpings of the word 'Veda' and signed off as Vyasadeva (aka. Veda Vyasa): a sage most targeted in straw man recapitulations by cult exponents.  When challenged with misfitting glottochronology, Hare Krishna et al, point to the Himalayas blubbering the sage still resides there (one of the seven Chiranjivins, or immortals.) That is how maniacal it is. 

Belief or Damnation

2. Inconsequential to progress in a land dominated by foreign overlords, cult productions of gods and goddesses in every shape and color, multi headed, multi armed and bloodthirsty, each with a story to fry a cat and its nine lives, had no international concern or impact in times past.  However, as India steps up to take her place on the world stage, will protectors and representatives permit her misshapen, and more than slightly mad, cult fabricated persona open to diagnosis universally, unchecked and un-righted? 
3. Whether Greeks emulated Hinduism or vice versa, the world has quantum leapt from chimerical belief to verisimilitude.  The Celestial cause célèbre; Zeus and his thunderbolt, Poseidon and his trident, Hades and his helmet, Thor and his hammer, have recessed further than the unfortunate Greek economy.  Atlas does not shoulder the world any longer, nor does the demiman Hercules appear to fight hydras.  They have all disappeared; existing only in Hollywood film archives.  Powerful and mighty they were but easily vanquished by progress: the adaptability of man in distinguishing amelioration from atavism.  Yet India's intelligentsia, nay, its very soul, is misrepresented by gods and goddesses more off-the-planet than the cobwebbed Celestials of Olympus.  Enacting in a similar reclusive 'beyond the senses' Homer-like headspace, cult extra terrestrials stay humanly connected only as mud and metal statues providing monies for godmen scammers, who swear they appear in dreams (a la images conjured up by bidi-puffing khusi (goat) eating doll makers)....but only to the reverential. Fact: Some idols standing at iskcon temples were molded by a convicted pedophile. 

Zeus or Indra?

4. This article points to archaic beliefs imposed by scammers, being upheld as Vedic, and re-imposed on Indians by foreign cultists preying on old sentiments for profit.  If allowed to continue, it will blur India's image and sotto voce alienate her from decisions going forward.  A first world economy with a caveman frame of reference.  What we will show is the con:  the aberration and distortion of TRUTH by vacuity claiming Vedanta.  An unchallenged, unexcoriated, flagrant dash for cash, perverted sex, and now.... the exponential influx of foreign agents armed with a 'prophecy' to Indian domination:-  Prabhupada (acBSP) (guru [late] Hare Krishnas) - "You will get government." But first, hors d'oeuvres are in order, and who better to serve it up than the chef himself, acBSp founder of the ISKCON cult.  We request our Indian Governors to see through our light banter in approaching the absurdities below and to bear in mind that these crazies, who claim to be god's personal literati and intelligentsia, are cutting deep into society; the minds and coffers of our nation, and misrepresenting Indians as lunatics:

>>Gurukrpa: A long streak. It was behind the clouds. There were many clouds, and you could see it through the clouds.
acBSp: What is the speed? If it is 83 million miles, very heavy thing, then the speed must be also.

Sure Mr. acBSp, the speed could be 83 million or gazillion.  Whatever you say is...Veda.  Factoid:  Comets (generally ) travel between 20/30'000 m.p.h.  When Halley's Comet appeared in 1986 the comet's velocity was measured to have a top speed of about 150,000 km.p.h. On the comet's closest approach to Earth the speed was 100,000 km.p.h.

83 gazillion m.p.h

>>Karandhara: Well, the speed is very great. I don't know exactly what it is, but it's millions of miles per hour. Perhaps not millions of miles. Hundreds of thousands of miles per hour.

Oh Prabhu! Quit being fudgy with numbers.  It's academic..scientific, and scientists are mad.  That's what your Prabhupada said (below,) and everything he says is...Veda.  You should never say- 'I don't know.'  If you think it's millions of m.p.h. then that's what it is, and those crazy scientists with their material senses can go to hell.  Always remember the true meaning of paramparaI know everything 'cause my guru knows everything 'cause he is god imparting transcendental knowledge from the 64 oz. snuff-clogged brain of a BA dropout.

>>Prajapati: There must be living entities then on the comet. Yes, Srila Prabhupada?
acBSp: Oh yes. Everywhere there are living entities.

Okay. What we have is a comet flying at 83 gazillion miles and the good-as-god leader of the iskcon sect (who is obviously in cosmic overdrive) says he has knowledge of living entities aboard.  Who saw them?  Who reported their existence?  What are these living entities called...Cometians?  How is it that  a man who is millions plus m.p.h off speed, is sure living entities exist on comets?  Who else can confirm what iskcon cultists claim is god (Krishna) sanctioned right to sell this man's cacophony as Vedic?  Alternatively, here are three easy steps to seeing entities as they flash by on a comet travelling at gazillion m.p.h., 1) Snort strong snuff like acBSp, 2) Eat opium like BhaktiviNo Thakur chased down with chunks of goat meat and fish, 3) Swallow ghee-soaked pakoras at the iskcon Sunday feast.  Or just hand over your hard earned cash to iskcon temple presidents for access to closed source cross-dimensional multimedia Life Member portals, which also stream dream-beams audio/videoed in cult approved format....promising total recall.

Opening Life Membership portals

>>Jayatirtha: Scientists are very excited about the comet because they think that it's made of the primordial substance of the universe and they think they'll be able to find out some clue how the solar system was created by examining the comet with their telescopes. (laughter)

Sure.  It is a laughing matter.  Why utilize Hubble Telescopes, satellites, dishes, radio waves, spacecraft, Mars rovers, probes, astronauts etc., when you have a livewire space cowboy sitting before you on his rocketasana, clutching tightly his Bhagavad Space Traveler Encyclopedia?  The very same guy who wrote 'Easy Journeys to Other Planets"   A Flash-guru-Gordon in the flesh, who started his own Hare Krishna Area 51 when he went on record saying: "One can train pigeons to carry one into outer space."

Area 51 pigeon

>>acBSp: Let them talk all nonsense. We say in Bengali, pagale ki na bole, chagale ki na khaya. The goat can eat everything, and a madman can speak anything. (laughter) Pagale ki na khaya..., pagale ki na bole, chagale ki na khaya.

Yes a madman will speak anything and his goats will swallow anything.  "But I don't want to go among mad people,' said Alice. 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the cat. 'We're all mad here.'  (Alice in Iskconland).

>>Prajapati: Are the living entities on the comet, are they very demoniac or intelligent or...?
acBSp: Not necessarily demoniac. Two classes of men are always there: intelligent and demon. (end)

Meteor Maharaj

Damn!  It's been confirmed by iskcon's Flash-guru-Gordon...The Cometians are...wait for it.....MEN!!!  They are also split into two categories, one lot are intelligent and the others believe men live on comets.  And when we combine-  Oh yes. Everywhere there are living entities  with recent statements in a popular cult cyber rag: "There have been bad signs in Russia and Cuba recently, where meteor strikes have been happening...."  (actually only one strike, but madmen will say....)  then we need to ask who is to blame for the crashes... Was it Astro Boy with his gearstick commandeered by gurukula teachers?  Meteor Maharaja with his gender definition problem?  Is it Princess Comet who should have been pregnant barefoot and in the kitchen because she has a 36 oz woman's brain?  Or is it in fact Inter- galactic-iskcon who are issuing asteroid meteorite and comet driving licenses to flying pigs who peddle Prabhupada's pink elephants....like the iskcon 5'000 year old parampara system?  Whoever it may be, iskcon shock-jocks need to saddle up on flying space debris and distribute "Easy Journeys..."  It will help navigators avoid everything solid, especially proof.

We know where intellectuals come from (iskcon?) but where did demons originate?  Look no further.  Here is Prabhupada coming at you...83 million m.p.h: "Diti was so lusty that she forced her husband to copulate at a time which was inauspicious, and therefore the demons were born to create disturbances." (SB. 3.17.15..purport).  Yes Sir, she was a bitch, just like all the other nymphomaniac demon-breeding woman.  She forced him, and to satisfy her constant nagging (half his luck) Kashyapa first tried a block-and-tackle and then a derrick.  When both failed to raise his aspirations, he went down to the local Dhanvantari drugstore and got himself a bottle of blue pills.  But then the lusty nympho suddenly went virtuous.  She wouldn't let her old man in the bedroom for a full one hundred years, or until she was absolutely sure the use-by-date on his pill bottle was well and truly past the post.  Here it is: "The virtuous lady Diti had been very apprehensive of trouble to the gods from the children in her womb, and her husband predicted the same. She brought forth twin sons after a full one hundred years of pregnancy. " (SB. 3.17.2)

"Git yer pills!"

And where can we find Diti's demons?  Here they are...Iceland, Alaska, Canada, America, larger parts of Europe....Okay let acBSp tell it like god told him:  "There are many countries on the globe, even at the present moment, where all these disturbances are current. This is true all over the world. There is insufficient sunshine, and there are always clouds in the sky, snowfall and severe cold. These assure that such places are inhabited by demoniac people who are accustomed to all kinds of forbidden, sinful activity. (SB. 3.17.5. purport).  If the weather does not Ouija board demonic presence...keep an eye on your donkey. acBSp: "Asses also feel very respectable as a race, and when they run in flocks hither and thither in so-called jollity, it is understood to be a bad sign for human society."

5. Really?  Is this Vedic?  Is this what Indians want to tell the world by having India's President open cult temples, hailed by media and supported by businesses and academia?  Anyway, now that hors d'oeuvres have been served, let's start on dinner.  Please bear in mind, the ridiculous excerpts below (with only minor editing) are taken from Brahma Purana and Bhagavat Purana, books being used by gaudiya vaisnavism and specifically the iskcon (Brahma Sampradaya) Hare Krishna, as a spiritual re-education program for Indian youth.  They are self appointed agents who sell this stuff to the world and to vulnerable Indians as god written / endorsed Hindu Vedism.


PART 1:  Ululations from a Cave:

Daksha's wife was named Asikli and Asikli gave birth to five thousand sons.
Daksha and Asikli then had another thousand sons
Daksha and Asikli had sixty daughters.
Surasa gave birth to the snakes (sarpa). Surabhi's descendants were cows and buffaloes.
Tamra has six daughters. From these daughters were born owls, eagles, vultures, crows, water-fowl, horses, camels and donkeys.
Krodhavasha had fourteen thousand children known as nagas (snakes). Ila gave birth to trees, creepers, shrubs and bushes. 

IIa's daughter with admirer

Diti went to sleep without first washing her feet. This was an unclean act and it gave Indra the required opportunity. He adopted a miniscule form and entered Diti's womb.
With his weapon vajra, he sliced up the baby inside the womb into seven parts. The baby naturally began to cry at the pain.
But the baby, or rather its seven parts, would not listen. Indra thereupon sliced up each of the seven parts into seven more sections, so that there were forty-nine sections in all.
When these forty-nine sections were born, they came to be known as the Maruts
The sages realized that Vena was a lost cause. They physically caught hold of Vena and began to knead his right thigh. From this kneading there emerged a horrible looking creature. It was a dwarf and its complexion, was extremely dark.
When the sages began to knead Vena's right arm, Prithu emerged.
Prithu decided to kill the earth, since the earth was not yielding foodgrains to his subjects. The earth adopted the form of a cow and began to flee
The sages (maharshis) arranged for a sacrifice (yajna) in this forest and the ceremony went on for twelve years
An enormous egg came into existence with the permutation and combination of five basic elements. Within this egg exists the whole universe including the mountains, islands, oceans, planets, deities, demons and the human beings.
Brahma was born inside this egg.
Brahma lived inside the egg. He then split the egg into two and created heaven and the earth from the two parts of the egg.

Here...comes... Brahma!

From the powers of his mind, Brahma gave birth to seven great sages. 
To continue with the process of creation, Brahma gave birth to a man and a woman from his own body.
There are four varnas (classes/castes). Their names are brahmana, kshatriya, vaishya and shudra.
Lord Brahma created the Brahmins and the Kshatriyas from his mouth and chest respectively. Similarly, Vaishyas and Shudras manifested from Lord Brahma's thigh and feet respectively
A chandala is an outcast.
Dhruva performed meditation (tapasya) for three thousand divine years. Brahma was so pleased at this that he granted Dhruva an eternal place in the sky.
Dhruva became the Pole Star. The complete story of Dhruva and his tapasya in given in the Vishnu Purana

Dhruva! Is that you?

These Prachetas were supposed to look after the world and rule over it, but they were not interested in such mundane matters. They went off instead to perform tapasya under the ocean.
The tapasya went on for ten thousand years.
The earth had no ruler. People started to die and thick forests grew everywhere. So thick were the forests that even the winds could not blow.
When news reached the Prachetas. They were furious with the trees and created wind and fire from their mouths

Last of the Fishateus

They said, "Sage, we are completely confused. We have heard that Daksha was born from Brahma's toe."
A mahayuga comprises of 12,000 years of the gods, or equivalently, 4320,000 years for human
But this Samjna refused to do. Instead, she went to the land known as Uttara Kuru and started to live there as a mare.
Surya found out that Samjna was in Uttara Kuru in the form of a mare. He joined her there in the form of a horse.
Sudyumna was not entitled to rule since he had earlier been a woman.
Once every year, Dhundhu exhales his breath and this raises a tremendous cloud of sand and dust. For an entire week the sun remains shrouded in dust and for the whole week, there are earthquakes as a result of Dhundhu's exhalation.

Dhundhu gone viral 

Ourva was pleased at these prayers and said, " Both of you will have sons. But one of you will have a single son and the other will have sixty thousand sons. Tell me, who wants what." (yikes! can we both have tubectomies?)
Sumati gave birth to a gourd. Inside the gourd there was a lump of meat... from the lump of meat were born sixty thousand sons.
King Yayati enjoyed an unbelievably long life of one lakh years. He was blessed with eternal youth and his appearance was enough to give an inferiority complex to a young man. 
Finding the time opportune 'Vriddhavastha' (deity of old age) and 'Kamadeva' entered Yayati's body. This way the deities were successful in their designs and now the signs of old-age started to become evident in Yayati. 
Yayati called Yadu to him and said, "I wish to explore the world and my old age is a hindrance. Please accept my old age and give me your youth in return."
Yayati got tired of the world and returned Puru's youth to him. He accepted back his old age and retired to the forest to mediate.
Arjuna pleased the sage Dattatreya and became invincible. He also had a thousand arms. (he only used two. so he hauled the other 998 around in a wheel barrow)
Vishnu blessed the king (Indradyumna ) and told him that he would rule for ten thousand and nine hundred years.
Markandeya entered the boy's body through the mouth. Inside the boy's stomach Markandeya discovered all the worlds
King Shveta.... He was such a good king that during his reign people lived for ten thousand years.
Ultimately I died but even at the time of death, my mind was preoccupied with the thoughts of my beloved parrot. As a result, I was born as a parrot but fortunately I remembered my previous birth.
King Shveta ruled for a thousand years
So well did Bali rule that disease, drought and evil disappeared throughout the three worlds.
Offering the meat of a dog to the gods was unheard of. Indra adopted the form of a hawk and stole the vessel in which the meat was kept.

Indra dog-hawk 

Nandi brought water from the Goutami Ganga and sprinkled it on Yama and the others who had died in the fighting. They were all immediately brought back to life.
Kubera possessed a beautiful vimana (airplane made of flowers and propelled by incantations) named pushpaka.
Ritadhvaja had reigned for eighty thousand years. After that, Ritadhvaja's son had reigned for ten thousand years. All this while, Sushyama's daughter had lived in the cave, that is, for ninety thousand years all together.
"That may be," said Dadhichi. "But the weapons are no longer here. I have swallowed up their energy. Let me tell you what can be done. I will use the powers of meditation (yoga) to give up my life. Then excellent weapons can be made out of my bones.
Dadhichi died and the gods requested Vishvakarma to make weapons for them out of Dadhichi's bones. Vishvakarma complied and the weapon name vajra that he made was truly remarkable.
Once the baby was born, she killed herself after having handed over the baby to a pippala (fig) tree for rearing.
Since the pippala tree brought up the boy, he came to be known as Pippalada. Chandra (moon god) was the lord over all trees. The trees asked Chandra for some amrita for Pippalada and Chandra obliged.
From Shiva's third eye was born a demon that looked like a mare.
As for the demon, it became a river and merged with the holy Ganga.
After a lot of effort, a son was born to him. But the son happened to be a snake. The king and the queen were mortified at this turn of events. But they brought up their son in great secrecy. Not even the king's ministers and priests knew that the prince was a snake.
After the snake had become learned in the knowledge of the Vedas, he told his father, "Father, it is time for me to get married."
The maid was to tell Bhogavati that her husband was actually a snake and then observe her reaction.
The maid told Bhogavati, "Your husband is a god, but he has the form of a snake."
At the sight of Bhogavati, Nageshvara remembered his earlier life. He used to be a snake in his earlier life.... His wife in the earlier life was Bhogavati. 
The two went and bathed in the scared river and Nageshvara obtained a handsome and divine form.
Years ago, there was a war between the gods and the demons and the gods lost.
Brahma used to have five heads. The fifth head was in the shape of a donkey's head.
Brahma's fifth head was trying to help the demons. They (gods) went to Vishnu and said, "Please cut off Brahma's fifth head. It is causing too much of confusion."
"I can do what you want," replied Vishnu, "but there is a problem. When the cut-off head falls on earth, it will destroy the earth.
The place where Shiva cut off Brahma's fifth head is known as rudratirtha. Ever since that day, Brahma has had four heads and is known as Chaturmukha.
The doves and the owls were enemies. They fought amongst themselves continually. The doves had received all sorts of weapons from Yama and the owls had received all sorts of weapons from Agni. 
"When did you come here?'..."Sixteen hundred years, six months and three days ago," replied Pramalocha.
There are four varnas (classes). Their names are brahmana, kshatriya, vaishya and shudra.
A chandala is an outcast.
On the banks of the river there was a tree and on that tree there lived a brahmarakshasa (demon). As soon as the demon saw the chandala, it wished to devour him.
The sages had been delighted to learn the wisdom that was in the great Brahma Purana. Whatever Veda Vyasa had told those sages, I have now recited before you.
These tales were narrated to Lord Brahma by Lord Vishnu himself, who in turn propagated them in this world through various sages.
"Will you sell one of your three sons to me?" asked Rohita. "The boy is needed for a sacrifice."
The voice said, "There is no need for anyone to die. Take Shunahshepa to the banks of the Goutami Ganga and perform the yajna to Varuna there. Goutami Ganga is such a sacred river that no human sacrifices are needed if a yajna is performed there.

"It's all very...Vedic, you know."

Lord Vishnu also advised them to use the Mandar mountain as a Churner and the serpent--Sheshnag as a rope for churning the ocean
The deities then reached an agreement with the demons according to which both the groups were supposed to unitedly churn the ocean. T
he great Mandar mountain was uprooted and placed on the back of the tortoise--the embodiment of Lord Vishnu.
Sheshnag coiled around that mountain and both the ends were held by the demons and the deities respectively. The deities intelligently chose the tail-end, while the demons in their foolishness chose the mouth-end.
Lord Vishnu then disguised himself as the most enchanting woman and fooled the demons into giving back the ambrosia-pot. Lord Vishnu gave the pot to the deities who became immortal after drinking ambrosia
He smears ashes on his body and wanders through the cremation grounds. In the name of clothes, your husband puts on tiger's skin. A garland of skulls keep on hanging down his neck. All species of serpents coil around his body.
Hiranyaksha had four sons, who themselves had 27 crore sons and grandsons in all
All six of them gave birth to various species of birds. Shuki was the mother of Parrots and Owls.
Shyeni gave birth to hawks while Bhasi was the mother of ospreys (a large fish eating birds.)
Gridhi gave birth to Vultures and Sugridhi was the mother of pigeons.
Shuchi was the mother of cranes, Swans and other similar aquatic birds.
Sursa was the mother of the serpents and had given birth to one thousand snakes. Similarly, Kadru gave birth to one thousand cobras. Surabhi, one of the thirteen wives of Kashyapa had given birth to cows, buffaloes as well as beautiful women.
Santapana is for those who happen to eat mongooses, owls or cats. An eater of camels or donkeys observes taptakrichha.
Khasa gave birth to crores of Rakshashas (monsters)
Once, Ila transformed into a woman after tresspassing a forest where Lord Shiva and Parvati were enjoying privacy.
When Lord Shiva appeared, Ikshvaku requested him to make Ila a man once again. Shiva told him that it was impossible but assured him by saying "If you perform an Ashwamedha Yagya (horse sacrifice) and donate all the virtue thus acquired to me, then your brother will be able to live as a man for one month. But, after one month he will again become a woman. Thus, his form will keep on changing every alternate months."
Bashkali was their leader. He had become immortal an account of a boon received from Lord Brahma.
Once, Lord Shiva became so deeply fascinated by his consort Parvati that he did not come out from his palace for 1000 years. The deities became worried and sent Agni to find out the reason. Agni disguised himself as a parrot and entered the palace where Shiva was enjoying privacy with Parvati.
....a divine child emerged out from her womb. The child possessed various weapons like, trident, shakti and a noose in his hands.
Narottam hanged his wet clothes in the open sky without any support and they used to dry without falling down on the earth. This special power had made him very arrogant
Mook... his total devotion towards his parents had blessed him with an extraordinary power-his house used to hang in the air without any support.

Mook's place

Narottam was amazed to see the same brahmin, who had been accompanying him all along the way, siting on a lotus flower.
The deities sought help of Lord Shiva, who killed Tripurasur by the sight of his third-eye.
A person who donates wooden sandals a needy brahmin attains to the heaven.
Ultimately I died but even at the time of death, my mind was preoccupied with the thoughts of my beloved parrot. As a result, I was born as a parrot but fortunately I remembered my previous birth even while I was still in my mother's womb.
The mere touch of Ganga water liberates a man from all his sins, but mere sight of river Narmada is enough to liberate a man from all his sins.
Ravana went to the forest and performed an austere penance for ten thousand years by standing on one foot. He fixed his gaze at the sun and never for a moment did he remove his gaze from it.
Hanuman uprooted a large tree and tried to hit Lav, but Lav cut that tree into hundred pieces with a volley of arrows

Serve or Exile

The man revealed to the assembled people that he had become a horse due to Durvasa's curse.
Bhagirath did an austere penance on the Himalayas for ten thousand years. As a result, river Ganga descended on the earth.
Brahma decided to start creation afresh, but discovered that the earth was submerged in water.
Vishnu adopted the form of a boar and went to the underworld. He discovered the earth there and raised her up on the tusks of the boar. The boar carefully raised the earth and laid her to rest on top of the water. The earth began to float like a gigantic boat.
The sages tarried, but they were jealous of Goutama and his powers. They therefore plotted to bring about Goutama's downfall. With their own powers, they created a black calf.
Nandi struck Andhaka on the chest with a trident. This angered Andhaka and he created a thousand other demons who were just like him in appearance. This army of demons defeated Nandi and the gods.
Those women who do not serve their husbands should be expelled from the home for a period of twelve years and should not be helped in any way during the exile.
Those who eat astrologer's and priest's cereals are kept in different hells for crores of years followed by their keeping in the wells of boiling oil and saline water where they are fed with feces
In every Dvapara Yuga, a Veda Vyasa is born so as to divide the Vedas and disseminate their knowledge. There have been twenty-eight Dvapara Yugas there have therefore been twenty-eight individuals who have held the title of Veda Vyasa.
PART 2: excerpts-  The Bloodthirsty Fable of Krishna Balaram:
On the way a celestial voice proclaimed "O Fool Kansa, the eighth son of your beloved sister, whose chariot you are driving so affectionately, shall be the cause of your death."
Besides Him, all the cowboys and all others who belonged to Yadav clan are none other than gods in Human guise." Saying this, Devarishi Narada disappeared.
Since then Kansa killed the children one by one soon after their birth
Vasudev saw that an extraordinarily marvellous baby boy was standing before them. His eyes were as soft as lotus; He had four arms and held a conch, mace, wheel and lotus.
Saying this, the Lord transformed Himself into an ordinary baby....Instantaneously, all the locks of the jail opened automatically and the guards fell asleep.
It was raining heavily, so Sheshnaga (a multi headed cobra snake) followed them shading the baby with his hoods. 
But before he (Kansa) could slam the baby on the ground it escaped from his hands and assumed Ashtbhuji, the eight-armed form known as Durga
Kansa had sent a cruel ogress Pootana to kill all the newly born babies in his kingdom. In the guise of an extremely pretty woman, Pootana entered Gokul
Pootana's breasts were filled with poison.
Pootana took the baby (Krishna) to secluded place and began to breast feed him.

Krishna deflating Pootana

Thereafter the Lord began to suck Pootana's life....As her death approached she regained her real, ogress appearance 
Meanwhile a demon Shakatasur (cart demon) rode the cart wishing to press the cart down on Krishna and kill him.
Trinavart, a demon minister of Kansa, had arrived in Gokul as a fierce cyclone.
She could not believe it. The entire universe was visible in his (baby Krishna) little mouth.
Two divine men appeared from the uprooted trees and bowed at the feet of Krishna
A demon, meanwhile, took the guise of a calf.
Suddenly they (Krishna and Balaram) held the calf with its hind legs and tail twirling it in air they threw it in the sky. 
The creature was in fact a demon named Bakasur who had arrived there in the guise of a stork.
The stork hastily picked up Krishna and swallowed him..... But Lord held his beak with both his hands and tore the demon's mouth apart.
Thinking thus, the demon took guise of a python and lay in the way and opening his mouth like an opening of a cave.
The lord increased his body and choked demon throat. As soon as the demon died, a divine flame emerged from the python's mouth.
Disturbed by the sound of fruits falling and noise of the cowherds, the demon Dhenukasur arrived there as a donkey.
Balarama caught him by his hind legs and threw him in the air. 
When Kaliya- the Naga (a multi headed snake) heard the noise. He got extremely angry and appeared before Krishna.
Thereafter he (Krishnarode on Kaliya's hood and began to dance there.
Lord Krishna drank the infernal forest fire and thus saved the lives of innocent people.
A demon Pralamb arrived there with intentions of kidnapping Krishna and Balarama. The demon had come in the guise of a cowherd boy.
Then the demon regained his huge formidable size and tried to escape by flying. Balarama hit on the demon's head with a powerful fist. The blow shattered demon's head and he fell on earth dead like a huge mountain.
Hearing the sweet enchanting tunes of (Krishna's) flute even the heavenly elves gather in the sky over Vrindavana.
Lord Krishna himself appeared on the mountain in huge form and exclaimed: "I am Giriraj" (the king of the mountain) and began to eat the offerings
Thus for seven days continuously Lord Krishna balanced Govardhan Hill on his little finger. 
Lord held Govardhan on one hand, and conch in the other, while with the remaining two hands He began to play his flute
The tune (of Krishna's flute) attracted Gopis (cowhered girls) their passion surged to its zenith under the influence of love for lord Krishna
Krishna had indeed, after disappearing from amidst Gopis, taken Radha to an isolated place.
During the night: the python emerged and caught hold of Nanda's leg.
Krishna touched the python with his feet and instantaneously, the python vanished. In its place appeared a divine-looking human.
During Ras itself, a demon Shankhchur tried to escape away kidnapping some of the Gopis
Krishna ran after the demon, carrying a huge sal tree in his hands. In no time He overtook the demon and killed him by just one blow.
Once, Kansa sent a demon Arishtasur to Vrindavana. The demon arrived there in a bull's guise.
Tapping his hooves angrily, the demon attacked God (Krishna). He wished to gore Him, but God held his horns and pushed him back. Then kicking the demon God killed him

Aristasura goes...bulldust

But before elephant could attack them, Balarama caught its trunk, while Krishna caught its tail. Both the brothers then dragged the elephant out of the gate and lofted it in the air.
Mushtik was beaten on the ground by Balarama so hard that he died at once on the spot. Krishna similarly killed second wrestler Chanur. All the remaining wrestlers met similar fate one by one. The massive crowd present there applauded joyfully.
Then Krishna jumped once again and landed on the chest of Kansa. Kansa died instantaneously.
Just then, divine weapons and chariots appeared from the heaven.
Pradyumna was kidnapped by a demon Shambarasur. The demon dropped the baby into the sea, where a huge fish swallowed him in whole.
When the cooks cut the fish open, an extremely beautiful baby emerged.
But with the blows of his mace and arrows, Lord Krishna easily broke the hills
Disturbed by the noise, the five-headed demon Muru ran with a trident to kill Krishna. But with a single shot of his arrow, Lord Krishna broke his trident and cut off his head with his wheel.
Bhaumasur then came himself to fight...With his wheel, Lord Krishna cut the demon's head. As soon as He beheaded the demon, the gods showered flowers on Lord Krishna and worshipped Him.
After slaying Bhaumasur, Lord Krishna entered his palace. There He released the sixteen thousand one hundred captive princesses and married them ( Krishna had a total of 16'108 wives) 
As soon as the lizard (King Nriga) came out the well, it turned into a divine god and began to worship Krishna.
His wheel cut his head. Then with an arrow Lord Krishna cut the head of the king of Kashi
Sudarshan (magic disc. a la celestial weapon) extinguished the fire, killed Kritya and destroyed Kashi. Then it returned to Lord Krishna?s finger.
Angered by his indecency, Balarama hit him (the gorilla, Divivida) with his pestle, named Sunand, and killed the monkey.
"Krsna and Balarama jumped from the top of the mountain down to the ground -- a distance of eighty-eight miles."
Bhima understood the signal (given by Krishna) and beating Jarasandh on ground, he tore him apart in two pieces and threw them in opposite directions.
So, quieting all, Lord Krishna cut his head with His wheel..... the dead body of Shishupal fell on the ground
Krishna hit Salva with a powerful blow of mace and he began to spit blood from his mouth.
Krishna cut off his head (Salva) with Sudarshan wheel. Seeing his end, all the gods showered flowers on Krishna.
Krishna easily bore the blow of his mace and hit Dantvaktra's chest with his mace named Kaumodaki. Dantvaktra's heart tore apart by the blow and he fell dead.
Seeing him ready to launch an attack, Lord Krishna cut Vidurath's head off with his wheel.
"On the seventh day from now, Dwarka shall submerge in the sea and Yadavas shall fight among themselves to death. I too shall depart then. The arrow of a hunter shall be the cause of my departure."
(to be continued)

Samba gets an iron ball

5. After spending 125 years on earth, the Krishna dramaturgy ends with the same gory beginnings and interims. Here it is: "Sage Vishwamitra and Sage Narada once visited the city of Dwarka to meet Lord Krishna. A few children of Lord Krishna dressed up Samba (Son of Sri Krishna and Jambavati) as a pregnant woman and asked the visiting sages to foretell what kind of a child Samba will bear. Feeling insulted, the sages cursed that Samba will give birth to an Iron ball which in turn will be instrumental in the fall of the Yaduvanshi Dynasty. The very next day, Samba gave birth to an iron ball. Lord Krishna's sons ground the ball to powder and threw the filings into the sea.  The filings were absorbed by reeds.  On a picnic at the sea shore, members of the Yadu dynasty drank excessively, argued and fought, using the reeds which were now iron spears, they annhiliated themselves. While Krishna was meditating on events in the forest, a hunter named Jara somehow mistook his foot to be a deer, shot and killed him with an arrow.  As for his brother Balaram : On seeing the end of Yaduvanshi clan, Balram the elder brother of Krishna sat under a tree and ended his life by breathing out life from his mouth in the form of a white serpent (with red eyes and a thousand hoods) that entered the sea and vanished." (Sure.  Whatever)
6. Really? But really?  Is this the profile India needs to project as genuine....gods and demons fighting battles in Wonderland, overseen by a supreme head-chopping, chest-bashing god who protects his cave-dwelling mortals from shape-shifting Shreks?  How can these not be drug induced rantings?  Why and how did the pure instructions of the Vedas become overridden with cult guru consciousness, and with blue, green, yellow, white and red multi-armed idols of gods and goddesses carrying weapons and glairing at us with bulging eyes stuck in numerous heads?  Will the color of god, his/her number of heads and arms, be a criteria to entering heaven?  How many more temples will India need to convince the world that women should be slaves to their husbands or face exile unaided for 12 years?  Or that little girls should be impregnated after their first menstruation?  Or that sacrificing time and money to a guru, or a precious life to temple administration upkeep and expansion, is beyond all other earthly obligations, and then convince others to do the same at the expense of all else in the belief that it is devotional service... to unseen gods and ever-present gurus who expect nothing less.
7.  We recently read (yes another) promotion in the Times of India concerning yet another temple under construction in Pune, India :  ISKCON's new temple to take people back to Vedic times (god save us all) ...cost of building is 40 crores...built on 6 acres...the project was promoted by 40,000 middle-income group families whose donations involved all communities across Pune.  How many more temples does India need to take us back to Vedic times?  What Vedic times are we being taken back to?  Are we talking about Vedic times like in our excerpts-  Ululations from a Cave and The Bloodthirsty Fables of Krishna Balaram?  It is because of those lunatic beliefs India remained under foreign domination for most of recorded history.  Only now, in modern times, with proper access to knowledge and education, India is taking its place on the world stage.  Vedic times is a will-o'-the- wisp, conjured up in the mind and for the pockets and libidos of cult intoxicated 'brahmins' ...who falsified literature like the Brahma, Vishnu and Bhagavat puranas.
8. Take a close look at iskcon, what Vedic times do they know about that we don't?  From its very conception the cult has been rocked with scandal crude enough to shame even the lowest among men.  Murder, rape, prostitution, pedophilia, misogyny, polygamy, scams of every hue, shade and description...What Vedic times are they talking about?  It is an old scam on new wheels.  The only public charity iskcon can lay some credit to is feeding school kids (forget feeding the poor...even that is a baited hook.)  But when put under scope, the child feeding program reveals a hidden door to huge collections of money in donations around the world.  Iskcon believes, and always has, that charity begins at home and that's where it belongs.  Another point of interest in the TOI ad. was the statement by Gopal Krishna Goswami (aka. Gopal Khanna), chairman of ISKCON India Bureau :-  The focus is to inform and educate people about the glorious culture of India from the Vedic times, and to train them on how it can be applied to modern lives."  How can this man talk about training anyone to apply Vedic times to their modern lives when his own secretary was indicted for galloping around at night jumping into the sack with sleeping men and performing homosexual acts?  Is this what iskcon wants to teach Indian youth...Vedic times http://prabhupadavision.com/2012/05/abominable-activities/

Gopal Khanna

9. As for guru Gopal Krishna Goswami...his personal Vedic times include spousal abuse almost amounting to murder... "A Chair's Breadth from Murder."  Also he abandoned his wife and child leaving them to find their own way without ever paying a paisa in child support while he sports a gold Rolex watch on his wrist.  Is this Vedic?  Here is the link to his ex. wife's web site: http://www.harekrishnacultexposed.blogspot.com.au/
10. These borderline personality types are good for nothing other than undermining society and nation for their own laabh, pooja and pratishta.  India is still dealing with the sexual residue left behind by this particular cult; its beliefs and practices.  No forward moving nation can afford to carry the caveman cult germ.  Get rid of it or it will infect everyone and everything with lethargy, effemination, crime and madness.  Are those who propagate the quotes listed above MAD?  Yes they are, or will soon be.  Are you crazy if you believe it?  Yes you are, or will soon be.  We ask our readers to refocus on reality, god given intelligence and instructions from within the heart....Paramatma.  Don't chase the illusion of Vedic times, just follow the direction of Maharishi Dayanand Saraswati and go Back to the Vedas.
Thank You for spending time with us
Knots in a Thread

1. A good friend (and a good man) told me a pastime where an iron ball was ground up, thrown in the sea, washed ashore, grew into reeds and the Pandavas beat each other to death with those iron reeds until there were no more Pandavas.  I said, ?You mean they killed all those millions of Pandavas that way?  Sounds like flower airplanes to me.?  He said, ?Well it may not be true??
The math.  If 64 Pandavas beat each other to death with iron reeds, that would mean that 32 killed the other 32, so there was 32 left.  Those 32 then killed each other in pairs until there was 16 left.  Those 16 then killed each other in pairs until there was 8 left.  Those 8 then killed each other in pairs until there was 4 left.  Those 4 then killed each other in pairs until there was only 2 left.  Those last 2 Pandavas hit each other simultaneously so that they could both die together? no more Pandavas jumping on the bed!  Anyway, something like that.  I haven?t worked out the math for 65 yet.

BIF:  The sixty-fifth Yadu suffered argumentative disorder, so he jumped into the sea screaming - "Scissor cuts paper! Rock breaks scissors! Paper covers rock! Scissors cut.....!  He then drowned and reincarnated as ambiguity... (acBSp)- founder acarya of the Hare Krishna guru-is-god cult. 

2. "Srila Prabhupada was born in Kolkata, India, in 1896. He met Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Goswami in 1922, who was the foremost scholar, philosopher, and devotee in India at that time."  These cultists piss me off.   The truth is-  no one on the streets of Bengal knew then, or now, about Bhaktisiddhanta (BS).  Hell I was raised in Narkeldanga, a couple bus stops from his Bagbazar math.  Only cult members know about him.  Yet here is this appendage from a cult groin, telling other cultists that BS was the foremost scholar, philosopher, and devotee in India at that time.  Oh Yeah!  What are BS's credentials other than an old printing-press and a file of phony literature daddy gave him?  Haven't these dipsticks heard of  Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)?  He was right there in Bengal when BS was being badgered (by others of his sect) for inventing bogus techniques to promote himself, and his father's forgeries.  Tagore had won the Noble Prize for literature.  His Brahmo Samaj was bursting at the seams with recruits. Netaji Subash Chandra Bose was a soldier scholar and hero who was also grabbing the headlines. Haven't these pantha pundits heard of Dayanand Swami or Viveknanda whose maths were flourishing?  Who ever heard of Bhaktisiddhanta on a national stage, or outside his little group of baby bangers? The gaudiyas were getting shafted by the Govt. for prostitution (that included kids).  None of them had degrees in anything other than-  how to cook kitch-hari.  They were then as they are now...papi tapi jatis...lowborn beggars...who were offered food and a place to sleep (with a kid under the blanket) if they supported and promoted the cult boss.  BS put young boys in saffron and started the brahmacari asram racket.  There was always some sex scandal going on in his math.  Homosexuality and pedophilia was always a part of the gaudiya scene.  But just like Iskcon members will never say anything other than what loyalty demands, the earlier gaudiyas also closed out secular interference.  Prabhupada knew all about it.  Here's proof:

Pusta Krishna: Vasudeva Sridhara?
Prabhupada: No, no. He was made chief. Guru Maharaja did not make him chief. But after his passing away, some of our Godbrothers voted him chief.
Pusta Krishna: Am I mis...? You had told me once, I'm not certain. Maybe I made a mistake. You said that Vasudeva, it was known fact that he was homosex?
Prabhupada: Yes.
Pusta Krishna: Vasudeva.
Prabhupada: He was homosex and sex, everything.  (Room Conversation June 18, 1976, Toronto)
"Srila Prabhupada is a pure representative of India?s ancient dharma, philosophy, and culture. He is a bonafide spiritual master or Guru coming from a spiritual traditional dating back thousands of years."
Yes. All the way back to Vedic times. We have heard enough of that batshit, already.  Yet we note how this pure representative of India's ancient dharma, philosophy and culture never reported to police, perversions of which he was fully aware...and even while playing big boss guru reigning on planet iskcon.  We have also noted that he began having repeated sex with a girl as young as eleven, an act that would have thrown his bonafide spiritual master ass in jail, today.  So why finger Vasudeva or any other cult dustcart deva.
3.  147. 'Hearing the vibration of the flute, the supremely exalted Sri Radha and vraja-gopis, who to meet with Sri Krishna had abandoned their husbands, sons, religious principles, and shyness, attained mahabhava in such a sway that becoming spellbound in the simultaneously sweet and poisonous thoughts of Him, they completely forgot their own selves and became motionless like pillars.
BIF: Yep it's legally defined as-  Statue-tory rape.
4. Funny how Prabhupada and Kirtanananda got along so well.  They must have had something in common.
"I have just received one letter from the black devotees in Cleveland who wish to start their own ISKCON Center independently of the white devotees there.  In principle, it is alright, birds of a feather flock together.  We should not discourage them in any way from opening their own center, but I want you to go there and see how thier things are going on and that the standard of Krishna consciousness is being maintained on the highest level." (Prabhupada letter to Sarsvarupa, 24 August 1972)
BIF: acBSp was a racist who saw only his KKK previous existence in the mirror.  Then the guy he writes the letter to ends up on psychotropic drugs and playing leapfrog with a female devotee...someone else's wife. Birds of a feather for sure, except that acBSp had lost his mojo, and whatever else was going down was pure devotee, intimate lila.  Good-as-god perversions that no one will ever let on.
5.  Here's acBSp gloating and bloating like a bullfrog in an iskcon cult well:
Prabhupada smiled at the irony. "When the Englishmen were ruling over this country and Gandhi had to do so much labor, his life sacrificed, some way or other they were gone. Now the same Englishman is working here as book distributor, who was our ruler.
So whose achievement is better?Gandhi's or mine?"
We all agreed: "Yours."
"And one Englishman is giving me massage," Prabhupäda laughed, giving me (Hari Sauri Prabhu who was Prabhupada's personal servant at that time and was English by birth) a glance. 
(A Transcendental Diary Vol. 4 by Hari Sauri dasa)
6. The stories get pretty wild, eh?  How about Sati and the spontaneous combustion episode.  Silly, headstrong girl.  She didn?t listen to her husband because she was overcome with the party spirit when she heard the damsels talking it up as they journeyed from planet to planet in their flower airplanes. 

I wonder, does a damsel get jealous if she has a dandelion airplane and sees another damsel with a petunia airplane?  Is a magnolia airplane an imitation lotus airplane?  Do buttercup airplanes run on ghee?

SATI... Murder most foul!

Vamana Spare Parts

BIF: Sati was the prototype auto-suggesting suicide for women so they could never accrue wealth by succession. It was just another Bhagavat concocted bul-bul to keep men on top and women pregnant.  As for flower airplanes and 36 oz brains....  It would depend on the damsel and for how much she was damnsold.  But the idea of parking an airplane in a vase and flying to a florist for repairs does have some appeal.  However I am not sold on the petunia, magnolia
... concept.  Frankly I believe it was less pushpa vamana and more push for marijuana, with indica more popular than sativa, coca being mid-shelf, and poppy the Rolls Royce.  Government ganja / opium shops still operating in India were once spare parts retail outlets, and today's flower markets were once smash- repairs and services, or even chop shops... although snip shop sounds more flowery. 

My queries are more technical i.e.,  Was it a one-mantra takeoff, land, right, left, ascend, descend?  Did one mantra fly all- sativa, indica, paan, cocoa, poppy...all sizes and tare, or were vamanas custom built, mantra specific with a " Sorry. Not you fatty" condition?  Were there mantras to kill aphids (and hippies) or did they spray?  Did pilots smoke their vamans or did cops hide behind clouds with speed guns and RBT blow tubes? Did the cops fly poppy vamanas or prefer bud?  When old vamanas were crushed at the wreckers was there oil extract, and did they...aaagh forget it.